


De Beers "A Diamond Is Forever"

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Angst, Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-07-27
Updated: 2003-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-27 01:36:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 20,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12071013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: It takes place after episode 3.14, the story is based on the Showtime previews of the season finale. It doesn't contain any spoliers. It is a romance story were Brian proposed to Justin.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

The celebrations on Liberty Avenue after the sound victory of Councilman Marvin Deekins over Stockwell were dwindling. Brian decided it was time to take his Sunshine home, or what was left of their former home. Justin was more than a little tipsy with liquor, and Brian decided that it was best to spend the last night in what once was their love nest. Brian couldn't help but smirk at the thought of the words "Love nest". The loft was completely empty except for the few boxes containing some of Justin's art supplies, and stuff he had collected since they got back together few weeks ago. Plus Brian's personal items such as clothing, shoes, etc. He had auctioned all his material possessions a few days ago to get the money to pay all his debts. 

He wanted to start again with a clean slate. Free of debts, free of worries - like when he was fresh out of high school. The only worries back then were just getting out of the hell house and starting college right away. Brian eased Justin onto the wooden floor, closed the door and set the alarm. The utility services were still working, but they were scheduled to be shutdown in five days. He had only one week to vacate the loft before the people from the bank foreclosed on it. Brian looked at Justin sleeping on the floor fully clothed, and noticed he was shivering. He took his leather jacket off and covered Justin with it, then he rummaged through the boxes looking for one of the duvets. Finally he came across one, pulled it out and just dropped it on top of Justin over the leather jacket. 

He noticed it was the one he had on his bed when Justin first laid in it three years ago. He just managed a smirk in his face and thought to himself, this place is full of memories. He moved to the kitchen and pulled a bottle of Jim Beam from one of the cabinets. He began to undress and took his shoes off. Once he was barefoot and free of his shirt, he grabbed a glass and poured a drink. He sat down on the empty space where his Italian designer sofa once rested. His mind was racing about a thousand miles an hour. 

Brian's POV 

What now, Brian? I guess the first thing to do is find a place to live for Sunshine and me. He's been living with Daphne since he broke it off with the fiddler, but it's time we got back together for good. I know he is going to stay with me, like the heteros say, "In the good times and in the bad times till death do us part." At this Brian laughed out loud then caught himself looking over at Justin. He moaned a little, turned over and kept sleeping. 

Okay! First item on the "Brian Kinney's things to do after he gets fired from his fucking job" list, find a place to live. Michael has so nicely offered the spare room at his apartment but the answer is no. He needs the spare room for his fucking ward. The munchers already have their hands full with Emmett. Debbie's is out of the question. I'll be damned if I go back to my high school years. Justin mentioned staying at Daphne's, but that will never work. Justin and I need a place of our own. Even if it's a rat hole, it has to be ours. Wow! When the fuck did I stop being me and begin to be us. Brian shook his head and smiled as he drank the last drops of Jim Beam. He laid down next to Justin to embrace him and pulled him closer. 

Second item on the shit list is to go to the unemployment office and apply for my fucking unemployment benefits. I have certainly earned that check; I've been working like a mule since I was sixteen years old. Third item, start sending my resume to everyone and everywhere, I am Brian Kinney for fuck's sake. I have an MBA and advertising is not the only thing I can do. It is what I do best, but I am a businessman too, so it shouldn't be too hard to find a job in another business-related field. And the most important item of any shit list, I have to make sure I don't fuck up with Justin this time around. I was lucky to get him in the first place. 

After the bashing, Jennifer almost took him away from me, but by some fucked up reasoning she allowed me to get him back. That was the first strike. Then after the zucchini man incident, I almost lost him again for the second time but thanks to my persuasion skills I got him back. That made it second strike. They say third time is the charm, well I hope it holds true for Sunshine and me. Because I don't think I can survive another fiddler or any degree of separation. 

So, I've been doing some research on how to make a relationship work. What do you know, Brian Kinney looking into the heteros' advice on relationships? Well, that is my one dirty secret! All I have been able to conclude from all of those books of well-meaning advice is that the cornerstone for any successful relationship is communication. Shit! Which means I have to start thinking in terms of we instead of me. I have to start saying shit like "what do you think dear?" or "I need to discuss it with my significant other." Well not in those exact words, I can always mold them to fit me so I don't lose my asshole identity. I just need to work with, and keep Justin's feelings and opinions in mind. But in the end, I will be the one making the decisions. And with these thoughts in mind, Brian drifted off to slumber land.


	2. De Beers "A Diamond Is Forever"

It was six o'clock in the morning when Brian woke up, the need to relieve himself became unbearable. He stood up to go to the bathroom and his whole body ached. He missed the softness of his bed. Every muscle in his body was stiff. From the bathroom, he went to the kitchen and set the coffee maker to prepare a strong batch of Irish dark coffee. He looked over to where Justin lay, still sleeping. The boy really knew how to sleep. Christ Justin! The Nazis could bomb glorious Pittsburgh, and you would not give a shit. No one could disturb the boy while he was sleeping. While the coffee was dripping slowly into the crystal pot, Brian took a quick shower. He needed to get ready to make his first appearance at the unemployment office. 

He dressed in casual clothes but not too casual, just comfortable enough for the task at hand and dressy enough for an interview. He drank his first cup of coffee. He skipped the sugar, wanting to clear his head from last night's celebrations. Ahhggrr! Dark Irish coffee is strong, and he felt his hangover disappear immediately as the hot, strong, sour flavor engulfed his senses of touch, smell, and taste. He took a small leather portfolio he had prepared when he and Justin had packed their lives into the boxes now laying around the loft.

7:30 AM   
Pennsylvania Unemployment Compensation Offices  
UC Board of Review  
Referee's Office  
1302 Pittsburgh State Office Building  
300 Liberty Ave.  
Pittsburgh, PA

Brian stood in line along with many other patrons visiting the state offices.  
"Next!" The unsmiling clerk shrieked while going through the motions of pretending to care for the suckers waiting in line. "Name!"  
"Brian Kinney."  
"Come again?"  
"B R I A N K I N N E Y. Brian Kinney!"  
"Could you spell that again, sir." Brian wanted to bite the girl's head off, but knew he needed to play nice if he wanted to be taken care of any time soon.

"Social Security number?"  
"555-55-5555."  
"Have you ever applied for unemployment compensation before, Mr. Kenny?"  
"Brian Kinney! The name is Kinney. K I N N E Y!"  
"Okay! Mr. Kenny again, have you applied for UC before?"  
"No! This is my first time."  
"Well, you need to fill out this application before I can enter you into the system. Please make sure you answer each question. If any of them do not apply to you, use the N/A abbreviation and continue until all the pages are filled out, front and back. Also, make sure you are as accurate as possible with the dates and phone numbers! Use a number two pencil or black ink pen, do not use red, blue or any other color. Write legibly. Do not leave any question unanswered and fill in each blank as correctly as possible. If you have any questions feel free to ask, we are here to help you. Next!"

Before Brian could ask her where he could go to fill out the application, he was brushed aside. Thankfully an old lady was watching the clerk. She moved swiftly to Brian's side and pointed him towards the corner where several tables were positioned, together with pens, pencils, phone books and street maps. Brian thanked the lady and went over there to start filling out his UC application. After a few minutes of going over the application, filling it out and double-checking to make sure he had not missed anything, Brian went back to the counter to turn his application in to the nice lady clerk.

"Hey Sandy, what's up?"  
"Not much." The clerk rolled her eyes to her fellow employee.  
"Have you taken a break yet, Sandy? There is some sweet bread in the breakroom and fresh coffee. I'll take over for you while you get something to eat."  
"Thanks Carl, you are a savior, honey!"  
"No problem, Sandy!"  
"Here is my completed application, sir." Brian said to the new clerk.  
"You need to get in line again, SIR."  
"I was just in line and now I've finished filling out my application," Brian replied, trying to keep his voice even and polite. He had heard stories about how the UC employees could make your life miserable if you so much as smile at them the wrong way.

"You need to get in line again, sir. I don't want to repeat myself. Next!"  
The male clerk ignored Brian while trying to be pleasant to the next client. Brian had no option but to go to the end of the line, which by now at 9:30 AM was longer than when he walked in.  
"Next!"  
"Hey, thanks Carl, for taking over!"  
"No problem, Sandy. What are friends for?"  
"Here is my completed application." The lady clerk looked over Brian's application. "Hey, Sandy. Did you heard about Bertha?"  
"What about Bertha?"  
"Well, rumor has it ....." Both ladies dropped their voices to a whisper as Sandy was reviewing Brian's application.  
"You are kidding, right Nancy?!"  
"No! I am not. I swear to God it's all true."

"Mr. Kenny, it says here you were fired, not laid off." Brian was trying his best not to appear humiliated at the clerk's remarks. "Yes, I was fired."  
"Okay! Mr. Kenny, you filled out the wrong application. You need to fill out this form instead of the one you have."  
"The name is Kinney. Brian Kinney."  
"Here Mr. Kenny, as I said before you need to answer all the questions. For the ones that don't apply to you, write N/A and proceed to the next until you fill out all the pages, front and back. Also, make sure you are as accurate as possible - all the dates and phone numbers need to be accurate. Make sure you use a number two pencil or black ink pen, do not use red, blue or any other color. Write legibly. Do not leave any questions unanswered; fill in each blank as correctly as possible. If you have any questions, feel free to ask we are here to help you. Next!"

By this time, Brian was boiling over and about to snap at the clerk when the same old lady approached him and said softly, "Here Sonny boy, let me help you. You don't really want to alienate Sandy. She can be a bitch at times, but you need make sure she doesn't get pissed at you." Brian decided to follow the old lady to the tables in the corner of the building. "Okay! Lets review. I heard Sandy say you were fired."  
"Yes, I was." The lady was looking at the papers, turning them over and over. She sighed and turned back to Brian. "Okay, Sonny boy. By the way I am Samantha Walters but every one here calls me Sam."  
"Nice to meet you, Sam."  
"Well, now that you have the correct forms you can fill them out. I will stand in line for you, that way we don't lose too much time. Lunch time is approaching and you will be stuck here with no one to take care of you till about 2:00 PM. You won't be able to see the case worker until probably Friday, and by then you will have to wait till Monday before anyone can start working on your case."

"Do you work here?" Brian asked.  
"No, Sonny boy. I don't work here. I have not worked in years. I just hang around here when it gets too cold outside." Brian managed his usual smirk as Sam went to the back of the line to save Brian some time. Brian finished reading and filling out the new application for his UC benefits. He proceeded to double- check the application again and moved to where Sam was almost at the front of the line. "Thanks for the help!"  
"No problem, Sonny boy!"  
"Next!"  
"Sandy! Did you call me?"  
"Yes! I need you to relieve me for a second. I need to go to the ladies room."  
"No problem, Sandy."  
"Thanks Nancy!"

"Hello, Mr. Kinney."  
"Hi!"  
"Let's see!" The new lady clerk was going over Brian's application. "Wow! You've been in advertising for almost fifteen years and you were a partner, I see."  
Brian's jaw tightened as the new clerk was studying his application. "Are you married, Mr. Kinney?" Brian almost choked at the question; it was unbelievable that the clerk was flirting with him. "No, but I'm in the process of getting engaged." The clerk then lowered her eyes and added, "Well Mr. Kinney, everything seems to be in order. I will see you on Monday at 8:00 AM sharp." She smiled. Brian thought WTF. "Why not till Monday?"

"Well Mr. Kinney, there are a few more people in front of you and it will take about two days to process the information into the system. Once you are entered into the system, we need to assign you to a caseworker to study your situation. When your case is evaluated, she or he will determine if you are eligible for UC benefits. The whole process is going to take about four to six weeks. Meanwhile, we need you to keep your appointments and return any information as soon as possible to facilitate the process." She kept smiling at him. 

Brian, with his tongue in cheek, wished the bitch would drop dead. "Monday morning at 8:00 O'clock don't forget Mr. Kinney." She smiled once more and went into super shriek mode, "Next!" Brian made an about face and headed to the exit. Then he turned to Samantha and added, "What about you and me sharing a turkey sandwich at the Liberty diner?"   
"Thanks Sonny boy, but I have to say no. I am not much of a sandwich lady but I won't say no to a shot of whisky." Brian smiled and handed her a twenty-dollar bill.

Back at the loft, it was already noon when Justin woke up. His whole body was stiff and every muscle in it was aching. He managed to remove the duvet and found himself entangled in Brian's leather jacket, which he moved to the side. He slowly began to stretch while rubbing his nose with his right hand. Then he felt the urgent need to go to the bathroom, and decided to take a shower. After the wild night he and Brian had while celebrating Stockwell's defeat, he needed to get rid of the stink. He smelled of sex, alcohol and cigarettes. 

Brian entered the loft as Justin came out of the bathroom after his shower, moving around the loft naked looking for some clothes in the boxes.   
"Hey Sunshine, you are finally awake."   
"Hey! Brian, where did you go?" Justin replied as he moved closer to kiss Brian on the mouth. Brian lifted him as he slapped his bare ass.   
"I went to hell and back!"  
"What you mean, to hell and back?"  
"I went to the unemployment office."  
"Uh! That bad!"  
"You work like a mule your entire fucking life and then God forbid you lose your job. Uncle Sam manages to kick you in your ass for failing." 

Justin managed to massage Brian's temples as he kissed him softly all over his face. Brian tightened his grip on Justin's bare ass and fiercely attacked his lips, forcing his mouth open. "Justin! I want to fuck you senseless right now."  
"Well, it's not like we have something better to do. You are unemployed and I no longer need to go to school."

Brian moved to the center of the loft and cautiously placed Justin on the floor. "Are you working at the diner tonight?"  
"As a matter of fact, no. Unless something happens and they are short-handed."  
"Well, I'll just have to make sure you don't answer the phone." Brian and Justin got lost in their own lust and sexual desire. One hour later, it was almost 3 o'clock in the afternoon. "Fuck! Brian I am so fucking hungry."  
"I know Sunshine, I'm surprised you lasted this long without food."  
"Well, you've been kind enough to nourish my body with another kind of food." Justin smiled naughtily at Brian. They both got dressed and decided to head to the diner to get some food. There was nothing left at the loft to eat, except for bottled water and some guava juice.


	3. De Beers "A Diamond Is Forever"

Liberty Diner.

"Hey kiddos, what will it be?"  
"Well Deb, I for once feel like a double meat cheeseburger, bacon no onions with fries and a big coke."  
"You freak! You don't eat fatty foods. That's the kind of food I like. You expect me to eat your kind of food now."  
"Well Sunshine, contrary to popular belief, I do enjoy fatty foods on occassion and today is one of them. As for you, I don't want you to change anything. I enjoy you just as you are and then some." Brian finished with his trademark smirk.

"Sunshine?"  
"Same for me Deb!"  
"So! Are you going to tell me how it went at the gates of hell?" Justin asked.  
"What about if we just enjoy a quiet meal for once? Then I promise I will relate the tale of horror with its more gory details, but not here. I feel like taking a walk. How about you Sunshine? Do you feel like walking with me?"

"Mmmm! Only if you promise to behave."  
"I can't make such idle promises."  
"What about if we go to the park? It's quiet this time of day and it's such a lovely day outside."  
"Then the park it is." Brian smiled at Justin as Deb brought the food to their table and they began to eat in silence. 

Brian and Justin were strolling through the park, walking side by side not touching. "So, are you going to talk or do I need to poke you in the stomach." Justin pushed at Brian a little. "Hey! I'm here being the gentleman I am. I am behaving and you are the one starting."  
"Grow up Brian!"  
"You grow up little twat." Both of them are being silly. Brian spotted an empty bench a little off the main walk in the park. "Lets take a seat Sunshine!"   
Brian opened a pack of cigarettes and offered one to Justin. "Well?!"  
"Well what?"  
"Spill!"  
"Here? Sunshine you are an exhibitionist. I'm surprised!"  
"Brian!"

"Want to go apartment hunting with me?"  
"Uh?"  
"Is this a particularly hard question?"  
"No! I just thought. Well I assumed..."  
"What?"  
"Well, you're not the type of person that leaves things to the last minute and you're supposed to vacate the loft by the end of this week."  
"Well I haven't had the time. So, do you want to go or not?"  
"Yeah! I'd love to." Justin's cell rang. "Hey Mom!"  
"Okay! I will."   
"No problem."  
"Me too."

"Brian!"  
"What?"  
"My mom wants to talk to you."  
"What for?"  
"I don't know. She just called to ask me to tell you that she needs to talk to you."  
"When?"  
"How about now?" Brian looked over as Justin finished his cigarette. He stood up and pulled Justin towards him, kissing him passionately. "Let's go and get it over with! That way we can go hole hunting."

"I thought we were going apartment hunting."  
"Apartment hunting, hole hunting same thing."  
"Brian!"  
"Well, I can't afford much. So one might think I can only afford for us to live in a rat hole."  
"You said us."  
"Us, me whatever!"  
"You mean it? You mean I can have a say where we live?"  
"Put a sock in it!"  
"Brian!" Justin jumped up and embraced Brian, kissing him all over.  
"Hey! Watch it! You are wrinkling my most fabulous leather jacket."  
"You love me!" Brian managed to smile and tighten his grip on Justin's waist as he pulled him in to kiss him properly before getting into the car.

Jennifer's Condo.

Hi Sweetie!"  
"Moooooom!"  
"What, I cannot kiss my boy?"  
"Hey Jen."  
"Hi Brian. Come in! What about a nice cup of tea? You like tea Brian?"  
"I can't say that I don't."  
"Justin, with or without cream?"  
"I want cream in mine and Brian will have it with two sugars no cream."

"So Jen, what is this all about?" Brian shifted uncomfortably on the sofa. Jennifer sat in front of Justin and Brian, relaxing and sipping her cup of tea. "Well Brian! Justin tells me that you lost the loft and you are suppose to vacate it by the end of the week. Have you found a new place to live?"  
"I can't say that I have."  
"Well as you know I'm a real estate agent. I get around and I, well something has come to me that I thought you may be interested in. I know it's not going to be as glamorous as your loft was."

"Jen, I can't afford anything that slightly resembles my loft or anything else that is too pricy."  
"Okay. That is the thing Brian, the price is right and the place is lovely." "Really Mom? Where?"  
"Justin! This is between Brian and I."  
"Wrong! This is between Justin and I. If the price is right as you say and Justin likes it, I don't see a problem."  
"Are you two moving back in together?" Brian looked at Justin.   
"Yeah Mom, we are."


	4. De Beers "A Diamond Is Forever"

"This place is great!"  
"A rat hole!"  
"I know it's small Brian! But you have three bedrooms, one bathroom, a kitchenette and a small living room. And the location is great! There's a swimming pool, enclosed garage, security gates and a nice family area for Sunday picnics or gatherings." Jennifer added looking at Brian's disgusted face.

"Look Brian, the room has great lighting. I can use it as a studio for my art. And the other room can be your own work space. That way you don't have to complain about me cluttering up your space." Justin moved closer to Brian and kissed him on the cheek.   
"Too confining." Brian said.  
"I love it."  
"We'll take it."  
"That settles it then. You two can move tonight, if you want. The utility bills are included in the rent except for the phone, of course."  
"Of course Jen."

"I am very happy Brian. This place has potential. I can just see how it's going to look once we get furniture in it."  
"Just don't get too carried away Sunshine!"  
"Don't worry Brian! I'll make sure you are proud of our humble home."  
"I am sure you will do a lovely job making this dump more bearable. As a matter of fact you already are." Brian said, as they engaged in a very passionate kiss. 

=============================================

About four weeks later, Brian was coming into the apartment. Justin was putting the final touches onto a wall mural, his newest creation.   
"Hey Brian! How did it go at the hellmouth?"  
"I've got to hand it to you kid. This place is looking better and better everyday. Love the painting!" Brian started kissing Justin on his neck, as Justin rubbed his hair on Brian's face. "Well, it's not the naked man at your loft, but I guess it will do till you can replace it with real art."

"What are you talking about? It is priceless. I wouldn't change it for the world. As a matter of fact, if I had the money I would buy this place just for the pleasure of owning your mural."  
"Brian that is so sweet!"  
"I know! I'm the best."  
"So are you going to tell me?"  
"Tell you what? I'm hungry."  
"How did it go at the UC offices?"

"What did you prepare for lunch? I'm really starving."  
"Brian!"  
"What? Alright! They denied me the benefits. According to them, I deliberately and knowingly violated company policy, therefore I don't qualify for the benefits."  
"Oh. Well, I've got a job so I guess I'll be the bread winner of this family for a change."  
"Doing what?"  
"You are looking at the newest art dealer assistant for Armand's Art Gallery." Justin flashed his megawatt smile.  
"The pay isn't as great as yours was, but it's a decent pay check. We don't have to worry about how are we going to pay rent when your funds run out. And I can afford a car now so we don't have to keep asking my mom or Daphne for theirs." "How thoughtful of you Sunshine! I guess I'll have to replace you at the diner now that you have a nine to five job." Brian managed his usual trademark smirk.

============================================

A week later.  
"Hey Sunshine, how was work?"  
"It's great and so exciting! Have you eaten anything Brian? I'll whip up something, just give me a minute to change."  
"How about if we go out to eat instead?"  
"Brian, we cannot afford to be eating out. Besides I love cooking for us."  
"I know you do Sunshine, but today we are celebrating."  
"Really! What?"  
"My new job."

"Brian that is great! Which ad agency are you going to be working for now?"  
"Well I am not exactly working for an ad agency."  
"So what are you going to be doing, exactly?"  
"Teaching! You are looking at the newest addition to the School of Business at Point Park College. I am the new Professor of Sport, Arts and Entertainment Management." Justin erupted in hysterical laughter.

"Nice going twat! Go ahead laugh it off!"  
"What the hell do you know about teaching?" Justin asked, when he could talk.  
"How hard can it be? Teaching is just like Advertising. But instead of me selling infinite types of products, I am selling the wonderful world of knowledge."  
"Wow! I never pictured you as a professor. I definitely would love to enroll in your class. You are a hot, young professor!"  
"Well that can be arranged. I happen to be available for private lessons too."

===============================================

A few months later, Brian and Justin were sitting around comfortably watching tv. "Justin now that summer is almost over, I think you should register for the fall session. You do need to finish college and get a degree. Point Park College has a good art department and PIFA is not the end of the Art world."  
"I've been thinking about it, but that means I have to give up my job and I really love working at the Gallery."  
"I know you do! But Justin think about this, with a degree you can do almost anything. Look at me, I used to be the hottest ad man around, then I was nothing and now I'm the hottest professor at Point Park. All thanks to my MBA. You can enroll and get a degree either in Fine Arts or Film and Electronic Arts."  
"I am glad that through all of it you never lost your confidence. And I will think about it Brian."  
"Me too Sunshine. I also hope you do decide to go back to school. I'd hate to have a fucking dumbass as a wife. Fucking dropout!"  
"Brian!" As usual they ended up in bed.


	5. De Beers "A Diamond Is Forever"

Point Park College campus.  
"Brian, what you think? Should I take creative writing or dance 101 as an elective?"  
"What time is creative writing being offered?"  
"Creative writing is offered at 9:30 AM."  
"And dance 101?"  
"That one is at 11:30 AM"  
"Take creative writing at 9:30. I have lunch at 11:30 so we can hook up for some snacks or something."  
"Brian! You're evil."  
"No! I am sweet."

===============================================

Few hours later.

"So are you going to show me your office?"  
"I don't have an office yet, I'm a floater. I'm the newcomer after all. But I can give you my schedule and as soon as I get an office, I promise we will make full use of it." Brian said, flashing his treadmark smirk.  
"So Sunshine, I hope everything went okay over the Financial Aid office."  
"Yep it did. Since I am no longer a teenager and don't live with my parents, I was able to swing a student loan. Plus, I got a part-time job at the Cafeteria."  
"Mmmm! I guess I have to start eating on Campus from now on to keep an eye on the servers."  
"Not a chance! I am not a server. I'll be working in the kitchen as a prep."  
"Prep! What's that?"  
"Preparing the food, kinda like a cook but not quite."

===========================================

Almost a year later, Brian and Justin had fallen into a rhythm. Brian was now comfortable as a professor at Point Park; he had an office and a full schedule. He was also working on his Doctorate degree. Justin was a Junior at college, working on his bachelor's degree. He was working at the Gallery part-time and at the school cafeteria, plus he was in charge of all the household duties. He loved to take care of their home, and Brian. He didn't like to be thought a housewife, cause he wasn't a total wimp. He was able to hold his own, and also take care of himself financially and emotionally, but he loved doing all the household chores. He knew Brian hated all the wifey stuff, as he called it. 

Brian and Justin's apartment.

Brian was researching on the computer when he was sucked into one of those pop-up ads loop. He was struggling to get out of the stupid loop when an ad caught his attention. De Beers "A diamond is forever". Brian managed to make a smirk. Ah, the perfect ad! It's simple, tastful and right to the point. Also, it embodied all the elements that would appeal to the masses - sex for the male population and romance for the females. Brian caught himself reminiscing for a second on his years as one of the top ad executives in Pittsburgh. Now he was one of the most popular professors on campus. His schedule had to be expanded to accommodate the growing body of students seeking his classes. He enjoyed a small but quiet office and no one messed up his work. The stress of an ad executive was very different than the stress as a professor. Brian was working for a doctorate degree now and he wanted to look into tenure at the college, and get a more solid position among the faculty. Brian always loved to strive for excellence. "Brian! Brian!" Brian was yanked out of his memories.  
"What Sunshine?"  
"What do you want for dinner?" Justin entered the room that was converted into an office/studio. He embraced Brian and started to kiss his lover.  
"What are the options Sunshine?"  
"Well, I was thinking about some chicken parmesiana and a ceasar salad, or do you feel like shrimp cocktail and fresh oysters."  
"Are you trying to kill me Sunshine?"  
"Why?"  
"I don't need seafood to enhance my performance and it's too late for Italian food. I'll have just the ceasar salad and some fruit."  
"How about some mango spread all over my naked body and we bypass the salad?"  
"Sounds like a winner to me!"

"What were you looking at Brian?"  
"I was doing some research for a new assignment and got caught in this stupid pop-up loop."  
"I can fix that for you! Just give me a second." Justin started working his computer magic to disengage the loop and voila! Problem fixed.  
"There! No more pop-ups."  
"Thanks Sunshine."  
"No problem Bri. Dinner should be ready in a minute."  
"I'll be finished soon and be over to enjoy my delicious mango."  
"Don't take long. I need to get to sleep early. I've got to be at the Gallery first thing in the morning. One of the new artists is a pain in the ass and I have to deal with his drama queen outbursts."  
"I am sure you can deal with it. You are a pro."  
"Brian!"

"In just take a minute Sunshine, I'll be at your side enjoying my delicious dinner." About an hour later, Brian went to bed. By this time Justin was already asleep. He stood above him next to the bed and admired his beautiful lover sleeping. 

Brian's POV

Justin works too hard; he keeps up with school, his grades are great all A's. He had made the dean's list in both the fall and spring semesters. He also keeps the place clean, food ready on the table and on top of everything he works two part-time jobs. Brian leaned down and caressed Justin's face, and placed a kiss on his lover's forehead. I love you Sunshine, it's just too hard for me to express it with words. 

Then for a minute a phrase came to mind, De Beers "A diamond is forever". Brian's face formed a smile and he got ready to go to bed.


	6. De Beers "A Diamond Is Forever"

Lindsay and Mel’s residence.

“Lindsay have you thought about what you are going to do for Gus’ birthday party this year?”  
“Nope! Mel I am all tapped out of ideas. I think we should go with the Blues Clues theme. Gus seems to love the doggy character and to tell you the truth, I don’t feel like brainstorming for a children’s party.”  
“We can always call Emmett and ask him to organize it.”  
“Mmmm! I think you're onto something Mel. I'd really be grateful if someone else organized it. I have my hands full right now with the new opening of Marcel’s show at the gallery, and Victoria and Gus’ daily activities. I don’t think you could manage with the new case loads you are taking on lately.”

“Then I will give Emmett a call and ask him to plan Gus’ birthday party.” At this point the phone rang and Lindsay went to answer it.   
“Mel and Lind’s residence. Hey Brian, what’s up?”  
“What?”  
“You are kidding right!”  
“No way! I don’t believe you. What’s in it for you?”  
“Brian! Just tell me why?”  
“Of course, I am grateful and more than grateful, I'm ecstatic.”  
“I need to discuss it with Mel.”  
“Okay! I'll get back to you as soon as I discuss it with Mel.”  
“Yes! I know Gus' birthday is in a month. I told you I will get back to you as soon as I discuss it with Mel.”  
“Okay! Okay! I will do it right now. Hold your horses!”  
“Kisses! Love you! Bye!”

“What was that about?” Mel asked while putting little Victoria in her crib after she finished feeding. “You won’t believe what Brian just asked me!”  
“There is nothing about that asshole that shocks me!”  
”Mel!”  
“What?”  
“Anyway, Brian just asked me if he could be the one to organize Gus’ birthday party.”  
“Whaaaaaaaaat?” Mel went into super shriek mode.   
“My sentiments exactly Mel!”  
“Why he would want to do that Linds?”  
“Don’t ask me! He just said something like, it's his son and he wanted at least once in his life to do something for his birthday.”  
“I thought the asshole didn’t believe in birthdays?”  
“He doesn’t!”  
“I don’t trust Brian, Linds. I just know he has an ulterior motive for doing this.”  
“Well Mel, it would save us a lot of stress plus he is his father and it's about time he does something for him. Don’t you think?"  
“I still don’t trust the asshole but you do have a point.”

=================================

Gus’ birthday party.

Brian had kept his promise to keep the party children friendly and free of any embarrassment. He held the party at one of the most popular party centers for children. Afterwards, he asked everyone to join him at his apartment for a post- party party. He claimed that children gave him a headache and he wanted to enjoy the company of some adults. But he made the request in such a manner that there was no room for saying no. 

He specially requested the presence of Jennifer and Debbie. Therefore, Gus and Victoria were left with the baby sitter. Jennifer asked Brian if she could bring Molly and Brian said she was most welcome, but denied Michael who wanted to bring Hunter. Brian said he wanted only the immediate family, and unless it was your boyfriend no one else was invited. The same was said to Ted and Emmett, only boyfriend-related guests were allowed.

They enjoyed a delicious dinner and everyone was at the table having lively conversations. Brian suggested the best was yet to come and for all of them to enjoy the dessert he had planned. Everyone was kind of wondering what Brian was up to. Brian brought a bottle of frozen Champagne. It was one of the most expensive top of the line brands. He opened the bottle and served delicious sweet treats: strawberries with whipped cream, a variety of cheesecakes and cheese cubes, and chocolates. Once every one had sweets and had been served champagne, Brian added,“I want to make a toast.”

Brian stood behind Justin and pulled him to stand up. Everyone else stood up and raised their champagne-filled glasses. Brian began to kiss Justin’s neck softly and added,“A toast to the lucky Irishmen, those bastards.”

Brian raised his glass, then kissed Justin on the mouth while keeping him pressed against himself with his other hand. “I never considered myself a lucky Irish bastard but now I’m beginning to understand the old saying, ‘The luck of the Irish.’ No matter what, we Irish always land on our feet.” 

Brian, without looking at anyone else, turned Justin around to look straight at him.“I am the luckiest bastard of them all. I, Brian Arnold Kinney, have to admit that I’m the luckiest Irishman.” The others glanced at each other; it was obvious Brian was making a speech and he wasn’t about to end it any time soon. They began to shift in their positions, their raised arms were getting tired, but no one brought their arm down. They kept their glasses raised.

Justin was just as perplexed at Brian’s behavior; after all he wasn’t one to make speeches. Brian always went straight to the point. The most disturbing behavior of all was that Brian wasn’t drunk. He had barely touched the wine all night and he had stopped drinking hard liquor a few months ago. On top of everything he had stated his full name. Brian had never used his full name before.“Sunshine! My Sunshine, because you are mine, right Justin?”

“Yes Brian! I am and I will always be yours.”  
“That’s what I thought.” Brian stared intensely into Justin’s baby blue eyes.  
“As I was saying, I, Brian Arnold Kinney am the luckiest Irish bastard of them all. For some strange reason, one night exactly five years ago, I was getting a blowjob from a nameless trick that meant nothing to me at Babylon. Instead of feeling pleasure I was bored and walked out of there.” Jennifer Taylor was disgusted at the graphic description and everyone else made sounds of disgust. Michael added,“We didn’t need to know that Brian.”  
“Hush Mikey! I'm talking.”

“So there I was five years ago, bored out of my mind. And as the Irish luck must have it, I was getting ready to jump into my jeep and go home when Wallah! There he was, the most astonishing vision in front of my eyes. As the Irish might say, I had stumbled onto the end of the rainbow and found the pot of gold hidden there by the little people.”  
“Yes! There it was my Sunshine, my own pot of gold. Though, I must admit, I didn’t know it at the time. Back then I wasn’t thinking how lucky I was. I had found the never-ending pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I was only thinking with my dick and how much I wanted to devour his delicious raspberry red lips and lose myself in the ocean blue of his eyes. I wanted to posses his ivory white silky skin and mark every inch of it with the Brian Kinney brand.”

“I wanted only to take him home and give him the night of his life. I never stopped to think that he might change my life. That night many things happened in my life, my son Gus was born, and I met the love of my life.” Everyone’s eyes widened in awe because finally Brian Kinney had admitted that Justin was the love of his life to them, and to himself.

“Five fucking years have passed since I first met you Sunshine. I know they have not been easy for you or me. Believe it or not, I know that the one who has suffered the most is you, but they have been painful for me too. I had to grow up fast to be what I am now. I had to stop being Peter Pan. I'm sorry for all that I have put you through, to force you to grow up fast, to steal your youth and your innocence. I have always said that sorry is bullshit, but today I am truly sorry for all the pain I have caused you through the years. At the same time, I am sorry for being such a stubborn Irishman.”

“I have no regrets, except for the pain I have caused you and in the process the hell I have put myself through too. I promise in front of every one present here to dedicate my life to make it up to you. I promise I’ll do my best to be the best person I can be. I love you, I always have and I always will.” Brian drained the champagne in his glass and kissed Justin's mouth to share the sweet delicious taste of the champagne. Everyone else took their glasses and drank some champagne, while adding in unison, “Amen!”

They were about to sit down again when Brian dropped to his knees and took Justin’s hand in his own, placing a small black velvet box on the table. At this everyone else suddenly stood still.“Justin Taylor, I, Brian Arnold Kinney, in front of every member of our fucked up family kneels to you to pledge my eternal and undying love to you. To pledge my devotion to you, to promise you that I will do my best to become the best partner you could ever dream of. To ask you if you will have me as your husband, partner, friend and lover. To ask you if you will marry me. I have made arrangements for us to go to Vermont and get married by a judge, and cement our relationship with a religious ceremony performed by either an Episcopal minister or a Catholic priest, or may be both. Whatever you wish Justin.” 

Brian’s words were rushing out of his mouth with the speed of lightning as he was nervously placing the small Claddagh Irish symbol ring on Justin’s finger. Everyone else dropped their jaws to the floor at Brian’s bold statement, and Justin was frozen looking at the ring that was being placed on his small finger. The ring was made of white gold. There were two small hands holding a heart that had a 3/4 ct diamond in the center with a crown at the top. Once Brian finished placing the ring on Justin’s finger, he looked up at Justin and saw his face.

Justin was expressionless looking down, then finally his blue eyes made contact with hazel ones, but Brian couldn’t read any emotion in the two ocean deep eyes. It was the first time Brian wasn’t able to read them and that made him fear the worst. Justin stared at him for a few moments then he turned around and looked at every single member of their fucked up family, as Brian so bluntly put it. He threw one more look at Brian and stormed out of the apartment without saying a single word or showing any emotion. Brain Kinney was left kneeling, thinking what the fuck had gone wrong. Everyone else was frozen in their places waiting for the apocalypse to occur, and Justin was nowhere to be found.


	7. De Beers "A Diamond Is Forever"

When you meet a boy  
That you like a lot  
And you fall in love  
But he loves you not

If a flame should start  
As you hold him near  
Better keep your heart  
Out of danger, dear

For the way of love  
Is a way of woe  
And the day may come  
When you'll see him go

Then what will ya do  
When he sets you free  
Just the way that you  
Said goodbye to me

Brian found himself sitting at the New York airport bar, a glass of Jim Beam and cigarette in hand. He was trying to make some sense of the events that had just developed several hours ago in Pittsburgh. After Gus’s birthday party Brian had invited the whole family to join him and Justin at an after party celebration. He had decided for once to stop being such a fucking coward and admit to everyone - especially to Justin - how much he loved him. He had been thrilled while making the plans in advance for his wedding with Justin. He had been so sure the blond would take him as his partner/husband he never stopped to think he could make a fool of himself in front of the whole family.

Now, here he was sitting in a fucking airport bar on his way to Italy. It wasn't the trip he had planned. A smirk formed on his face when he thought of the trip he had planned instead. He had imagined he and Justin leaving the party with the family blessings. They would drive to Vermont, and after the small ceremony he would take his blond boy to Italy for their honeymoon, but now that wasn't going to be possible. Justin had walked out of the celebration without uttering a single word from his fucking mouth. Justin had never been one to be the quiet type. Brian couldn't think of any reason why Justin had left him hanging there on his fucking knees in front of the whole family. Justin didn't love him as he thought he did. That was the only reason Brian had to explain Justin's behavior.

He closed his eyes as his mind was flooded with the images of the bizarre dream he had just experienced a few hours ago. After Justin walked out on him, he had stayed on his knees for a few minutes trying to comprehend - what had he done wrong this time? It had to be him because it was always his fault no matter what. He was always certain to be at blame. Then once he realized Justin wasn't coming back from wherever he had gone for whatever reason, he stood up and without a glance at anyone else in the room he went into their bedroom. He took out the plane tickets and the passports. He took only his passport and his plane ticket. He looked for his wallet and any cash available he had there and without a word left the house. He didn't take any luggage or clothes or anything else but his passport and the plane ticket. He got into his car and drove to New York.

And now here he was, drowning his sorrows with his best friend, his only friend Jim Beam. He couldn't believe he had deserted his friend a few months ago. But now here he was, him and Jim together again keeping each other company like old times.  
"Brian! Brian! It is you Brian."  
A handsome dark-haired young man approached Brian. After Brian took a good look at him, he smiled his trademark smirk and added, "Hey Gianluca! What's happening?"  
"I saw you on my way to the boarding area. At first, I wasn't sure it was you but my curiosity got the best of me and I am glad I stopped."  
"So! Where are you heading?"  
"I am on my way to Rome. You?"  
"Believe it or not me too."

Brian sighed as the words left his mouth then got up from his seat, paid the bartender and began to walk with the young man towards the gate area as his flight had been called for boarding. He and the young man settled in their seats, which luck would have it were next to each other and thanks to some divine intervention, away from the rest of the passengers. The flight was kind of empty and most of the passengers seem to be concentrated in the middle of the row seats while he and his friend Gianluca had been assigned to the back seats in the far corner.

"So Brian what have you been up to lately?"  
"Not much, I’ve been teaching for the past two years or so."  
"Teaching, what happen to advertising? If I am not mistaken you used to be the hottest ad exec in Pittsburgh and you had quite a reputation among the best in the nation."  
Brian just managed a faint smirk and turned towards the window while the flight attendant began to give safety instructions both in English and Italian.

After the plane took off, the flight attendant began to offer the passengers headsets for the private enjoyment of the movie that was about to be shown, or for the quiet enjoyment of music, whichever was the passenger’s preference. Brian took one, he wasn't in a talkative mood and he knew how much Gianluca liked to talk. He also ordered some more Jim Beam. He needed it to drown himself. He didn't want to feel the pain and emptiness in his heart. 

Brian was on his sixth glass of Jim Beam, not counting the ones he had already had at the airport bar. When a song began to play Brian began to lip-synch along. During all this time Gianluca had been observing him. Gianluca was puzzled as to what was eating Brian Kinney. He had known the man for a few years and though they weren't close or anything he prided himself as being a good judge of character, and Brian never struck him as a sentimental fool. But then here he was, Brian Kinney, lip-synching a bittersweet song.

"When you meet a boy  
That you like a lot  
And you fall in love  
But he loves you not."

Brian turned to face Gianluca and laughed a hysterical laugh.  
"Listen to this bitch, she really knows what she is talking about."  
"What you mean Brian?"  
"What I mean Gianluca is that......? I don't know - I need another drink."  
"Don't you think you’ve had enough?"  
Brian glared at his friend but didn't answer just signaled the flight attendant for another drink.

"If a flame should start  
As you hold him near  
Better keep your heart  
Out of danger, dear."

"She sure knows what she is talking about. Never, never let yourself be vulnerable for anyone - especially for any blond boy ass."  
Brian swallowed his drink in one gulp and asked for another one. The attendant frowned at him but kept quiet since he wasn't being rowdy or anything, and Italy was only a few hours away.

"For the way of love  
Is a way of woe  
And the day may come  
When you'll see him go."

"I should never gone for the romantic bullshit. I knew better but he really knew how to push my buttons."  
"What are you talking about Brian?"  
"What am I talking about? I don't really know. I am talking about life, about my life, about the lies, about fags trying to imitate the life of the heteros. What I am talking about is that love is bullshit just the perfect word to sell some bad products."  
Brian finished his drink and asked for another one; the attendant brought him the drink but warned him that this was going to be the last drink for him. He just took his drink and toyed with the glass, looking at the amber liquid that half filled the glass.  
"Then what will ya do  
When he sets you free  
Just the way that you  
Said goodbye to me."

"What the fuck am I going to do now? Now that he has set me free."  
"Well, Brian if you are nice enough to let me in into your little world. I might be able to help." Gianluca smiled warmly at him. He loved to talk but sometimes he could be a good listener and he sensed that right now he needed to be one for his friend. Brian needed someone to listen to him and he would do that if Brian were willing to accept his eager ear. 

Brian looked at him as the last of the song played and torrents of tears started pouring out of his eyes. Brian was well aware of the tears but he didn't care any more. He needed to finish humiliating himself in front of strangers; he had done so in front of his entire fucking family so why not in front of a stranger, not a total stranger but a stranger nevertheless.

Brian turned to look out of the window again, at the emptiness of space. It was funny, right now darkness was enclosing Pittsburgh but here in the middle of nowhere the sun was beginning to rise. He was aware of all the words coming out of his mouth, but he felt more like in a dream speaking in a kind of daze. He kept looking outside the window the whole time and saw the marvelous miracle of the sunrise. He saw the sky change from a dark blue to violet, to pink to almost orange. A smile, not his usual smirk but a genuine smile formed on his mouth. Orange, he thought as Justin’s image came to mind the day of the Ionic Optics pitch. Justin had stood in the corner of the room and had blabbered about Orange being the new blue - cool was out and hot was in. Justin was definitely hot but he would no longer be hot for him.

"Do you have any regrets Brian?"  
Brian then turned to look at his friend and after a small silence he added with a soft smile, "No. I have no regrets. I loved him and I'll always love him. But now I need to move on and find my way again, this time without him."  
"Good! Cause I'd hate for our newest and hottest ad exec to be moping around the office for months."  
"What are you talking about?"  
"I am talking about when we get to Rome, you'll have a job waiting for you."  
Brian looked at his friend once more and then turned back to the window to see the sun full and mighty above the sky. The European sky was clear, the baby blue was covered with fluffy and scattered white cotton clouds and the sun bright as ever. He certainly had no regrets. He had loved with all the intensity his heart could afford. He had been loved somehow. He didn't know how much Justin had loved him but at least he loved him a little and for a little while. But now it was time to move on. 

"I'll make sure you don't regret giving me a job despite the Stockwell scandal."  
"We all are human Brian, and for that we all make mistakes. But as long as you are certain that your choices weren't made in vain, that’s all that it counts. And no regrets."  
"No regrets." Brian retorted back to his friend.


	8. De Beers "A Diamond Is Forever"

"Does he love me? i want to know  
How can i tell, if he loves me so?  
Is it in his eyes?  
Oh no, you'll be deceived  
Is it in his signs?  
Oh no, he'll make believe  
If you want to know if he loves you so  
It's in his kiss  
That's where it is

Is it in his face?  
Oh no, that's just his charms  
In his warm embrace?  
Oh no, that's just his arms  
If you want to know if he loves you so  
It's in his kiss  
That's where it is

Hug him and squeeze him tight  
Find out what you want to know  
If it's love, if it really is  
It's there in his kiss

How about the way he acts?  
Oh no, that's not the way  
And you're not listenin' to all i say  
If you wanna know if he loves you so  
It's in his kiss  
That's where it is  
It's in his kiss  
That's where it is

Hug him and squeeze him tight  
Find out what you want to know  
If it's love, if it really is it's there in his kiss

How about the way he acts?  
Oh no, that's not the way  
And you're not listenin' to all i say  
If you wanna know if he loves you so  
It's in his kiss  
That's where it is

It's in his kiss  
That's where it is"

Justin was well aware that all eyes were fixed on him. He felt that he was been engulfed in a surreal dream. Here he was standing and looking down at the most beautiful hazel eyes. The man he loved. The man that he had loved since the first night he took him home was on his fucking knees asking him to marry him. Justin couldn't believe his ears. He wanted to jump, to scream in ecstasy. He wanted to shout at the world that Brian Kinney loved him and was asking him to marry him, but he was frozen. His fucking limbs were frozen, his legs, his mouth was shut tight. Not a single word was coming out of his mouth. He wanted to tell him "Yeeesssss! Yeeessssss Brian I'll marry you. I will marry you." But his fucking mouth wasn't moving. 

He was able to move his head then and look around. He could see the look on everyone’s faces. His mother, his little sister. Oh God! Debbie was looking so funny with her big brown eyes wide as if they were about to pop out. Michael. He could swear that for a second a flash of hate crossed his small brown eyes. Mel and Linds were just stunned. Mel was looking directly at him and Linds had her eyes fixed on the kneeling man in front of him. Ted and Emmett, well they were hard to describe. Ben, and the other two man in front of him - he just forgot their names. He couldn't remember the men’s names for Christ sakes!

He felt sick, finally his legs moved but he was heading out of the house. He didn't understand why his legs were heading out of the house when all he wanted to do was fall on top of Brian and kiss him all over. All he wanted right now was Brian to fuck him senseless. His body had taken charge and was heading out of the house. It must be some sort of emergency mechanism. He had heard about them when taking psych 101. When the body found itself in a threatening situation, it usually shut down or took flight. That must be it. Just some sort of emergency mechanism.

But why? He wasn't being threatened in any way. God! If being asked to marry was any kind of dangerous situation, he certainly loved being in that one. Finally, he came to a stop. And he began to puke his guts out. Then his asthma began to act up - was it his asthma or was he having an anxiety attack? He couldn't be sure. Then his cell began to ring, and before he checked the caller ID he reached out for it, and finally his fucking mouth began to move.

"Hey!"  
"Hey Justin! So how did it go? How was Gus's party?"  
"Daph."  
"Hey! Are you okay Justin. What's wrong? Where are you? Where is Brian?"  
Daphne began to shout in concern. She could hear the hissing in Justin breath and that he was having difficulty breathing. He must be on the verge of a full asthma attack.

"Don't know. I left home. I am somewhere in the middle of ......... Fuck!"  
"Justin where is Brian?"  
"Don't know. I am at ........."  
Justin began to laugh hysterically now. He couldn't stop himself from laughing at the fucking street names. He was on the corner of Sorrow St. and Hope Ave. Leave it to the heteros to come up with weird fucking names for the streets.

"Justin. Justin can you talk? Tell me where are you. I'll come and pick you up. I’m in my car heading towards your apartment."  
"Daph ..........."  
By now Justin was crying his eyes out, his asthma was almost full blown and he didn't have his inhaler with him.

"I am on the corner of Sorrow St. and Hope Ave. I need my inhaler........"  
Justin dropped his phone as he dropped to the sidewalk on his knees trying to suck the air out of the world. Now he was hyperventilating.

A few minutes later, Justin was safely in Daphne's car with his inhaler in hand and trying to regain control of himself. 

"Hey! You want me to take you to the hospital?"  
"No."  
"What about if I give a call to Brian?"  
"No."

That was all Justin was able to utter, Daphne sat quietly in her seat looking at her friend. She didn't know what had brought on his asthma attack but if Justin didn't want Brian right now he must have his reasons. She knew Brian could be a bit of a drag at times. Maybe he and Justin had got into a fight of sorts and now he was paying for the stress caused by Brian.

"Want me to take you home? To your apartment."  
"No!"

Daphne now understood that her best friend needed sometime alone away from home apparently. So she began to head back to her brand new apartment. They had already graduated from college. Justin had finally got his first BAS and she had gotten her BS in business administration and computer information systems. She had landed a job in one of the high tech computer businesses blooming now in Pittsburgh and gotten her first apartment away from the college life and her parents.

"Well, Justin here we are. I hope you don't make too much fun of my new home."  
Daphne smiled while walking with her friend, both of them leaning on each other.   
"I doubt it. I am too fucking tired to make any witty comments about your girly home."  
"Okay! Are you sure you don't want me to take you to the doctor or something?"  
"No I just need to rest a little. I am too drained for anything else."  
"Hey what about some food? I bet that would cheer you up."  
"Oh no! Please don't talk about food, I just puked my guts out."

Daphne just managed to rise her eyebrows, what the hell happened to him? Justin Taylor refusing food - that was a first. Well, not really. She remembered well whenever Justin got into a fight with Brian or had left Brian for whatever reason, he wasn't really in the mood to eat. She recalled the time when Justin had left the chin rat fiddler and had gone for days without eating, just smoking. She had thought it strange but then he told her that he wasn't thinking about Ethan. He was dreaming about Brian and trying to figure out how they fucked up. How he ended up where he was now, and how he had made the biggest mistake of his life by walking out on Brian.

Daphne directed Justin to her bed. She didn't have much furniture yet and the only room that was fully furnished was hers. Justin dropped to the bed after he washed out his mouth and took some pills for the throbbing headache that was threaten to bloom in his head.

==============================================================

Next morning.  
Daphne was eating some Cheerios while scanning the newspaper and listening to her favorite Cher cd. Justin walked in sleepy and rubbing his nose with his right hand; a habit that he had since he could remember. He sat in one of the empty chairs across from Daphne while she served him some Cheerios without asking if he wanted some or not. He began to eat in silence. They didn't greet each other, as a matter of fact they never did. They would just sit down and without any words she would pour him some Cheerios and they would eat in silence. 

Does he love me? i want to know  
How can i tell, if he loves me so?  
Is it in his eyes?  
Oh no, you'll be deceived  
Is it in his sighs?  
Oh no, he'll make believe  
If you want to know if he loves you so  
It's in his kiss  
That's where it is

A song began to fill the room and Justin smiled his Sunshine smile at Daph.

"He loves me Daphne."  
"Who?"  
"What you mean who? Brian you silly bitch."  
"Oh him! And you discovered that how?"  
At this Daphne began to paraphrase Cher's song:

Is it in his face?  
Oh no, that's just his charms  
In his warm embrace?  
Oh no, that's just his arms

Then Justin joined in and added,

If you want to know if he loves you so  
It's in his kiss  
That's where it is

Then both got up from the table and began to dance in the middle of the living room while Daphne cranked up the volume of the stereo. They both found themselves singing along with Cher's song.

Hug him and squeeze him tight  
Find out what you want to know  
If it's love, if it really is  
It's there in his kiss

How about the way he acts?  
Oh no, that's not the way  
And you're not listenin' to all i say  
If you wanna know if he loves you so  
It's in his kiss  
That's where it is  
It's in his kiss  
That's where it is

Hug him and squeeze him tight  
Find out what you want to know  
If it's love, if it really is it's there in his kiss

How about the way he acts?  
Oh no, that's not the way  
And you're not listenin' to all i say  
If you wanna know if he loves you so  
It's in his kiss  
That's where it is

It's in his kiss  
That's where it is

 

Finally the song came to an end and a new one began. At this Daphne turned the volume down a little and sat on the small sofa that decorated the living room. Justin collapsed on top of her with his head resting on her lap.

"So! Are you going to spill? Or am I supposed to guess?"  
"He asked me to marry him yesterday."  
"Whaaaaaaat?!"

Justin beamed his smile more brightly if that could even be possible.  
"Yeah! Brian fucking Kinney asked me to marry him, and get this he proposed in front of everyone and he even dropped to his knees. Here take a look at this."  
Justin showed Daphne his engagement ring.

"That's so fucking far out Justin."  
"Tell me about it. I never thought the day will come when Brian Kinney would ask me to marry him."  
"What did you say to him?"  
At this Justin's smiled faded and he looked distressed again.

"Nothing!" It was all Justin managed to tell his best friend.

"What you mean nothing?"  
"Just what I am telling you Daphne; I froze and walked out of the house without uttering a single word to him or anyone else."  
"Fuck! Justin. How could you do that?"  
"I don't know Daph. I am as perplexed as you."

"Fuck! Brian must be pissed at you."  
"Duh! You think?"  
"Fuck off!"

"What are you going to do Justin?"  
"I have no fucking idea. But once Brian forgives me for the umpteenth time for another of my fuck ups, I will marry him and live happily ever after, for sure."  
He smiled his megawatt smile again while caressing the ring in his hand.

"Well, at least I'd expect you to grovel and ask forgiveness for about the rest of your life. What you did was unforgivable. Knowing Brian, I bet he is drowning himself in alcohol thinking what the hell went wrong."  
"Well, I feel terrible about walking out on him and everyone else for that matter but I am not sorry. And I am certainly not apologizing for it."

"Why not?"  
"Well, it's his fault. He caught me unprepared. God! He had the nerve to ask me in front of everyone. He could have asked me in private. He could have done it the way he did but with only the two of us. Not have the whole fucking family as an audience."

"Well! That sounds reasonable; God help me if my boyfriend ever asks me in front of everyone. I'll die." Justin rolled his eyes at his friend's comment.

"He was so cute Daphne, he made this speech about............"  
"Brian made a speech?"  
"Yes, oh Daphne you should have seen him. His nose was twitching and his eyes were so full of love and his hands were shaking. The fucker was trembling like a cow going to the slaughter house."  
"Justin, don't make fun of Brian. I bet it was very hard for him to do that."  
"I am not making fun of him. I'm just reliving the most fantastic moment of my life. If I thought Prom night was the best ever, I need to think again. He was so fucking gorgeous and not just that he is handsome as hell. But for all the things he was doing."

"Wow! Brian really loves you."  
"Yes, he really does. And if I ever had a doubt, yesterday he erased them all from my heart."

"The ring is beautiful. Does it have a meaning? I mean the symbols in it."  
"Yes, they do. Brian never does anything without meaning something. He always goes for the best. Daphne get this - Brian even planned on a wedding in Vermont. That way our marriage will be legal, not like Linds and Mel's. But on top of everything he even asked me if I wanted a religious ceremony. We could be married by an Episcopal minister or a Catholic priest."

"No shit!"  
"Yes, isn't that neat?"  
"May I be your maid of honor? And walk behind you when you go to the altar."  
"Now, who is making fun of whom?"  
Daphne just rolled her eyes. She was happy. She was truly happy for Justin; finally those two would be able to have a decent life for themselves. Justin was just enjoying every minute of the events that had taken place the night before.


	9. De Beers "A Diamond Is Forever"

"I don't know why I did the things I did  
I don't know why I said the things I said  
Pride's like a knife, it can cut deep inside  
Words are like weapons, they wound sometimes  
I didn't really mean to hurt you  
I didn't wanna see you go  
I know I made you cry  
But baby

If I could turn back time  
If I could find a way  
I'd take back those words that have hurt you  
And you'd stay  
If I could reach the stars  
I'd give them all to you  
Then you'd love me, love me  
Like you used to do  
If I could turn back

My world was shattered, I was torn apart  
Like somebody took a knife  
And drove it deep in my heart  
When you walked out that door  
I swore that I didn't care  
But I lost every thing darling then and there  
Too strong to tell you I was sorry  
Too proud to tell you I was wrong  
I know that I was blind, and darling"

Next day in the evening after the events of Gus's party.

"Justin hurry up! I still have to meet Jeremy in about 30 minutes."  
"I'm coming. I'm coming, hold your horses Daph."  
"I still don't know why you didn't call Brian to come and pick you up."  
"I did but the fucker doesn't answer. I bet he's still pissed - maybe he is punishing me a little." Justin beamed his beautiful sunshine smile at his best friend. He was happy life was finally giving him what he wanted. He was twenty-two, he had finally graduated from college and the man of his dreams had asked him for his hand in marriage. Life was just perfect.

A few minutes later Daphne pulled into the apartment complex.  
"Brian isn't home."  
"How can you tell?"  
"His car is missing. Just as well, it will give me some time to re-group and plan something fantastic and romantic to make up for yesterday's fuck up."

Justin got out of Daphne's car and before she pulled out of the covered garage space, he said, "Hey! Daphne you've got a flat tire."  
"No shit? I'd better call Jeremy and let him know I am running late."  
"Fuck!"  
"What?"  
"My cell's battery is dead."  
"Here, try mine!"  
"Yours too. The batteries are out Justin."  
"Well then come into the house and you can call Jeremy from there."

They both went into the apartment.  
"Hey! Maybe Brian isn't that upset after all."  
"Why do you say that?"  
"Just look at the apartment - everything is sparkling clean, and Brian doesn't do house chores."  
"Well, I hope for your sake he isn't upset."

Daphne went to the phone to call her boyfriend and Justin went to his bedroom.  
"Hey! Daphne come and take a look at this."

Daphne put the phone down and went to her best friend.  
"Brian forgot his cell. Maybe that's why he isn't answering."  
"Oh! What did you want to show me?"  
"This. I bet Brian is taking me to Italy for our honeymoon. Here is a plane ticket under my name, my passport and here are the hotel reservations."  
"The Westin Excelsior in Rome. He reserved a five star hotel and first class flight. You're going in style Justin."  
"Brian never does anything less than sensational."

"Hey! Where are Brian's passport and plane ticket?"  
"How the hell should I know? Maybe he has them with him. Did you call Jeremy?"  
"Yep! He is on his way here. Isn't he great, always willing to help a damsel in distress."  
"I better call mom and try to find out what happened yesterday after I left."  
"Sounds like a plan to me."

At Jennifer's condo, the phone was ringing with insistence. Jennifer just got out of the shower and answered a little out of breath. "Hello!"  
"Hey Mom! Are you okay?"  
"Yes, darling I'm okay. I just ran out of the shower to answer the phone. I was very worried about you after you left yesterday. Are you okay?"  
"Yes Mom. I am more than okay. I feel great. I am on cloud nine right now. So can you tell me how upset Brian was when I left?"  
"Oh! Sweetie, I don't know. After you left we all were frozen in place for a few minutes. Then I saw Brian go in the bedroom, come back out after a few minutes and then he left without saying a word."  
"Oh! Did he look very upset?"  
"I can't tell you because I couldn't see anything in his face. He was just as you were - expressionless."

"Oh. Who cleaned the house?"  
"Molly and I did. After you and Brian left, everyone began to leave without a word and Molly and I were left standing there. We just began to pick up the mess, then locked the apartment and came back home."

"Okay Mom. I better let you go. I need to find out where the hell Brian is. I'll talk to you later. Love and kisses."  
"Justin."  
"Yes, Mom?"  
"Congratulations!"  
"Thank you mom. I am the happiest man in earth."  
"I'm sure you are honey."

Justin hung up from his call to Jennifer and began to call everyone in the family. He just got similar answers - all of them agreed that Brian left the apartment without a word a few minutes after going in the bedroom. After the congratulations and the obligatory apologies for leaving without a word, Justin looked at Daphne who by now was coming in with her boyfriend at her side and smiling.

"So, did you find out about how upset Brian is?"  
"Nope, it seems Mr. Kinney has vanished without a trace."  
Jeremy began to whistle the theme song from 'The Twilight Zone'.

"Jeremy!" Daphne hit her boyfriend in the stomach with her elbow.  
"Well, Daphne I better go and do something till Brian decides to get his royal ass home. I bet he just needs some time alone like I did."  
"Later, Justin." Daphne and Jeremy left Justin alone at home.

========================================================

Two days later Justin was talking to Melanie on the phone.  
"I'm worried Melanie. Brian hasn't come home in two days and Michael hasn't heard from him either."  
"Don't worry sweetie. I remember too well when I first rejected Linds' marriage proposal. She stopped talking to me for almost a month. Granted she didn't leave home but then again, she needed to take care of Gus. So I bet Brian will come back once he cools off a little and he tries to find out if you really rejected him or what."  
"I didn't reject him. I just froze. I was overwhelmed by him."  
"Don't worry sweetie. Just give Brian some time, okay?"  
"Thanks Melanie."

=========================================================

One week later Justin was having breakfast at Deb's. Victor and Detective Horvath joined in the conversation.

"I'm very worried Deb. What if something happened to Brian? What if he got in some sort of an accident and he is in a coma? What if he crashed and his body was burned beyond recognition? What if........"

"Stop it Justin. You are giving me the willies. I am sure Brian is okay. He just needed some time to think. We all know how stubborn Brian can be, and the fact that you left without telling him if you would marry him or not would make him more stubborn than ever."

"Justin if you are worried, I can take you back to the precinct so you can fill out a missing person report."  
"Carl! Don't put any more ideas in the kid's head. God knows he is full of them!"  
"I am not putting any ideas in the kid's head Deb. I'm just being practical. Besides, the window to fill out a missing person report is already acceptable. People usually need to wait 48 hours before doing something about it."  
"I have to agree with him Sis. Justin should go and fill out a missing person report. I am sure if something had happened to Brian we would have known by now. God only knows how popular he still is. But in any case a missing person report wouldn't be a bad idea; plus it might help Justin to put his mind at ease a little."

==============================================================

Three months later Justin was at his mom's home. Ever since Brian had gone missing, Justin couldn't spend a night home alone so he would often stay at his mom's condo or at Deb's. He was sketching and listening to his mom talk about her new promotion at work when the doorbell rang. Jennifer got up from the sofa where she been posing for Justin.

"Detective Horvath, what a surprise."  
"Hello Mrs. Taylor, is Justin here?"  
The moment Justin heard Detective Horvath's voice he was very aware of the conversation. But when he heard his own name mentioned, he sprang up from the couch and ran to the door.

"Did you find Brian? Oh God! Is he alright? Don't tell me he is dead. Oh God! Brian is dead." Justin began to hyperventilate and sure enough an asthma attack was threatening to develop.

"Calm down son. We don't know where Brian is yet. But we found his car in an impound lot in New York."  
"New York! What the hell was Brian doing in New York?"  
Justin couldn't help but ask out loud.

"We don't know yet but I was sort of hoping you could shed some light. Apparently, the car was left in the parking lot of the airport. The space was paid for a month in advance, but once the month run out the car was moved to the impound lot."  
Jennifer was holding her baby. Justin was holding on to her. He was sure he would collapse on the floor if he didn't hold on to his mom. Then a thought crossed his mind.

"I found a first class plane ticket to Italy and hotel reservations for the Westin Excelsior when I first came back from Daphne's. I bet Brian had paid the parking space for a month because we were going on our honeymoon to Italy for a month."

"That makes sense son." Detective Horvath agreed with hope in his eyes. Maybe the kid had decided that the humiliation he probably felt when Justin left the house wasn't worth staying around for, and decided to take the trip alone. He couldn't do any more for Justin; but he would be sure to mention to him that may be that was the case and recommend a good detective agency. Maybe his good friend Alonso could help. The Hispanic detective turned private eye could have some contacts in Italy that would help the blond.

"Mrs. Taylor may I come in?"  
"Oh, I am so sorry Detective. Where are my manners? Sure come in. How about a cup of coffee, or hot tea?"  
"Coffee is just fine Mrs. Taylor."  
Detective Horvath had been standing outside the door all this time. He went inside and began to get comfortable. He sat on the sofa where minutes earlier Jennifer had been, and took a sip of the hot coffee Jennifer offered him.

"Son, we as the police cannot do anything else for you if Brian had decided to leave the country and is staying in Italy. There is no crime committed here and in any case it's out of our jurisdiction. But I have a friend who used to be a great detective on the force and now is a private eye. I don't know if you are interested, but if Brian is in Italy he could find him there, or anywhere else Brian might be. He would find Brian - dead or alive. I am sure of it, but private eyes aren't cheap son. I am sure my friend would give you a reasonable price but it's up to you. May be Brian doesn't want to be found. Otherwise, I am sure he would have already contacted Michael or Deb at least. Do you know if he has contacted his son's mother?"

"No he hasn't, but I would like to talk to your friend. I really need to find Brian."  
"Okay I'll ask him to give you a call. Thanks Mrs. Taylor, for the coffee. See you around son."  
"Good-bye detective."  
Jennifer accompanied the detective to the door while Justin sat lost in his own thoughts.

=============================================================

Six months after the party, everyone was again reunited at Deb's home with the exception of Brian and with the new additions of Daphne and her boyfriend.

"Well gang, wish me luck."  
"Justin you are fucking nuts." Daphne said to her best friend while the rest of the family were toasting him and beginning to put in their two cents worth about Justin's impending trip to Italy.

"Good luck Justin and may that asshole come to his senses so finally you two can come home and be happy for a change." Deb added while sobbing intensely.

"I really hope that you and Brian get back together. I know now that Brian was only truly happy with you and that you do love him. I know we all make mistakes and I just hope I can live long enough to make up for them. I also don't think there is any excuse for your or Brian's behavior, but I honestly hope you two can put your differences aside and get the life together that you two deserve. And be as happy as Ben and I have been."  
Michael added in a soft and mature voice; then he turned to Ben, smiled happily at his boyfriend and kissed him tenderly. Then Ben spoke,

"Justin, I haven't been here for the better part of your and Brian's blooming relationship but what I have gathered, observed and learned through the few years I've known you two is this. I am sure you two are meant to be together. I also agree with Michael - there are no excuses for both of your childish behavior but I sincerely hope you two can come to terms and get the hell back together so we can all be a happy family again."  
Ben went to Justin and hugged him with his strong arms as everyone laughed.

"Oh! Honey........." Was all Emmett was able to say before the tears started falling, so he just hugged Justin tightly while sobbing. 

"Same here kiddo. I hope you can get Brian to come home. I miss the asshole. Who else can make fun of me better than him." Ted added emotionally while hugging both Emmett and Justin.

"I've known Brian since he was a pup and I've known you since you were a little chicken. And now you two are both cocks of the walk but still foolish enough to treat love with contempt. I am glad you found Brian and that he is alive and well. I just hope you two grow up soon and stop being so stubborn. Because my dear Sunshine, even though Brian might be the one who most of the time is at fault, you aren't exempt from guilt either. I don't want to make any excuses for your behavior, but I am sure both of you have valid reasons to act the way you did. So just go and get your man back and make sure I am the chef hired to cater your wedding." Vic said with a big smile while hugging his favorite blond.

"I am really happy for you Sunshine. There was a time long ago when I dreamt of being the one going down the aisle with Brian, but I am glad you are the one who stole his heart. I just hope you two finally find the same happiness, if not even more, than Melanie and I have found." Justin and Linds held each other tight.

"Well, Sunshine I'm not happy with you going to Italy all on your own. I know what an asshole Brian is. I still think you should call him on the phone and talk to him instead of just going to Italy. Six months is a long time, a lot could happen in six months especially since the fucking bastard hasn't had the decency to call about his son."

"Mel!" Lindsay glared at her partner.  
"Hey! I am just being practical here Linds. I don't want Justin to go and have his heart stomped on for the umpteenth time by that asshole."  
"Thanks Mel, I guess. I know six months is a long time and a lot can happen, but Brian loves me. He really does and if I could turn back time I would, just to take away all the hurt I have caused him. I'm not going to make excuses for my behavior; hell I am not going to apologize either, but I love Brian and I know he loves me. And I'll be damned if I don't go and take what is rightfully mine. My love, Brian."

Justin just turned to face his mother and Molly.  
"I hope you understand why I am doing this Mom?"  
"Yes, sweetie unfortunately I do. I just hope Brian isn't too hard on you."  
Justin kissed his mom one more time and hugged Molly, then said his good-byes again and headed for the door. Daphne and her boyfriend were trailing behind him. They were taking Justin to New York to the airport.

Several hours later, Daphne was hugging Justin one last time at the airport, "I hope you and Brian get back together."  
"Me too, Daph. God I am scared shitless of Brian's reaction. But I am confident enough that he loves me."  
"I know what you mean Justin. And I still think you are fucking nuts."  
"Maybe I am. But only because I love Brian so much."  
"Here take this, to keep you company during the flight."  
"What is it?"  
"Well open it!"  
"A Discman; I have one too you know."  
"Yes, but this one is already loaded with my most favorite Cd, and yours too."  
Justin opened the case to check the Cd Daphne was talking about. "Cher."  
"Have you forgotten what happened the morning you woke up at my humble home?"  
"No."  
"So you can listen to the song, and get up the courage to do what you have to do to get Brian back."  
"The Shoop Shoop Song."  
"'It's In His Kiss'. You asshole."  
"Thanks, but I feel more like listening to 'If I Could Turn Back Time'."  
"Well, that one too but since isn't happening just fill your mind with happy thoughts."  
"Love you Daph."  
"Me too Justin. What about being more 'Just Like Jesse James'?"

"You mean, I'm struttin' into town like I'm slingin' a gun.  
Just a small town dude with a big city attitude.   
Honey am lookin' for some trouble   
Well alright."

Then Daphne went on to add,

"You think you're so bad, drive the men folk wild.  
Shoot 'em all down with the flash of your pearly smile.  
Honey but you met your match tonight.  
Oh that's right!"

Then both of them sang at top of their lungs,

If you can give it, I can take it  
Cause if this heart is gonna break   
It's gonna take a lot to break it.  
I know tonight somebody's gonna win the fight.  
So if you're so tough come on and prove it.  
Your heart is down for the count and you know you're gonna lose it.  
Tonight you're gonna go down in flames just like Jesse James.  
Tonight you're gonna go down in flames just like Jesse James.  
Tonight you're gonna go down in flames just like Jesse James.

I'm gonna shoot ya down Jesse James.

Then they both laughed at their silliness and Justin boarded his plane. The plane that would take him to find his Jesse James since he couldn't turn back time, and he wasn't making any excuses.


	10. De Beers "A Diamond Is Forever"

Beneath the white fire of the moon  
Love's wings are broken all too soon  
We never learn  
Hurt together, hurt alone  
Don't you sometimes wish Your heart was a heart of stone  
We turn the wheel and break the chain Put steel to steel and laugh at pain  
We're dreamers in castles made of sand The road to Eden's overgrown  
Don't you sometimes wish Your heart was made of stone  
Look at the headlines  
Big crowd at the crazy house  
Long queue for the joker's shoes  
Ten rounds in the ring with love  
Do you lose and win Or win and lose  
Sweet rain like mercy in the night  
(Lay me down, wash away the sorrow) Caress my soul and set it right  
(Lay me down, show me your tomorrow) Summer tears, winter and the moment's flown  
Don't you sometimes wish your heart was made of stone  
Mercy, mercy wish your heart Was a heart of stone  
Get the picture  
No room for the innocent  
Peak season in lonely town  
Knocked out of the ring by love  
Are you down and up Or up and down  
I ask the river for a sign  
(In a dream we go on together)  
How long is love supposed to shine  
(In a dream diamonds are forever)  
But you and I, hurt together, hurt alone Don't you sometimes wish Your heart was a heart  
of stone  
Mercy, mercy wish your heart was a heart of stone  
(With a heart of stone, you'll be well protected)  
Don't you sometimes wish your heart was made of stone  
(With a heart of stone, you'll be well connected)

Justin arrived in Rome without any complications. He retreived his luggage from the Customs area at the Leonardo Da Vince International Airport in Rome. Then he headed to one of the airport's restaurants to eat something before heading to Brian's apartment. Alonso had provided him with an address and phone number, also with the address for Brian's job but Justin had decided to go straight to Brian's apartment. Brian might be still harbor some resentment towards him, but he would never allow the blond to spend the night in a hotel room. 

Justin ate some sweet pastries and drank some gourmet coffee then went to the entrance to catch a taxi. His Italian was a little rusty. He hadn't used it since the day he graduated from St. James Academy but he managed enough to give directions to the cab driver. Justin was amazed by the beauty of the city. Rome was really a dream come true for the artist in him. He could picture he and Brian strolling through the buzzing downtown area of the city. Visiting every museum and place that was a work of art throughout the city, in the form of fountains and buildings. The architecture was incredible; Rome was the dream city of Angels.

The cab finally stopped at the building complex where Brian's apartment was located. Justin paid the cab fare and braced himself for what was to come. He knew at the end he and Brian would end up in bed where all the important discussions always took place. And where all animosity and sarcasm would die for the sake of their enjoyment.

It was early in the morning about 7:30 AM Rome time, so Brian was still in his apartment. He had learned through Alonso that Brian usually arrived at work around 10:00 or 11:00 AM. He also had learned that Brian was a very successful ad executive. But that wasn't anything new; Brian had always been a great ad executive. If it hadn't been for the Stockwell scandal, Brian would be a senior partner at Vanguard or maybe heading his own ad Agency. But now, here he was being the best ad exec in Rome and Justin was here also, to claim his Jesse James and take him back home. Justin smiled and checked his breath by cupping his hand in front of his mouth. His breath had the smell of the almonds he tasted in his coffee a few minutes ago. He smoothed his blond hair, straightened his clothes a little bit and picked up his luggage to enter the building.

He found the number he was looking for and before he could knock at the door the door opened in front of him. So he entered without hesitation. Once inside the apartment, Justin found it looked pretty much like Brian's loft. The loft where Brian had lived for many years before he came into the picture. The loft where they shared so many memories together, but after the Stockwell fiasco they had to let it go and moved to their own place. The place were they began to build their own memories together as a couple, as partners, as lovers.

Now here he was inside this apartment which had an air of familiarity but was also alien to him and his memories with Brian. Justin's eyes finally stopped on what appeared to be the division of the bedroom and saw someone moving around. Then he heard something that broke his heart for sure. 

"Brian come to bed. It's too early in the morning to be awake."  
"I've got to go to work early Paolo. Today we have the CEO from Gioie.it coming in to check out the campaign Gianluca and I been working on for the Christmas season."  
"Fuck Gianluca! I hate the bastard, but I love you Brian."  
"I love you too Paolo. Now move your sorry ass from my ................."

Brian words were cut short as he caught sight of his blond boy dropping his luggage and running out of the apartment. "Justin! Justin!"

Brian screamed as he ran out after his blond boy. But he wasn't able to catch up with the blond who was running as if his life depended on it. Brian let go a sigh of frustration. He didn't need a dramatic demonstration today, not today of all days. Gioie.it was one of the top emerging jewelry companies in the world. He and Gianluca had spent a great deal of time coming up with a more than spectacular ad campaign to introduce the new line of diamond rings designed by the jeweler for the winter collection.

"Hey Brian! Why aren't you ready?"  
"Hey Gianluca. I was getting ready when I had an unexpected visitor but it seems I lost him again."  
"Who?"  
"Justin, and apparently something's up in his head. I don't have time for his dramatics."  
"Oh, the future hubby." Brian just smiled at his friend and they both walked back to the apartment.   
"What the hell are you doing here Paolo?"  
"Apparently hiding from you asshole, but I guess no such luck."

The young Italian boy moved from the bed to greet his lover with a proper kiss. Gianluca grabbed his young boy. He understood Brian well when he referred to his young blond's dramatics. He too had to deal with Paolo everyday, especially when it came to dealing with the time he spent at work versus the time he dedicated to him.  
"Ready?"  
"Yes, just give me a second while I talk to the super. I want to leave specific orders as to what to do when the Princess decides to come and explain his presence here."  
"You think he is coming back?"  
"He has too. He left his luggage and his passport dropped on the floor when he took flight."  
"Kids." It was all Gianluca managed to say while they left for the office. After Brian talked to Marcelo, the old super just nodded in acknowledgement. He assured Brian he would know how to deal with his misplaced Princess as soon as he turned up again. 

============================================================

Justin had finally stopped running; he was out of breath on one of the many one way streets that surrounded the building complex where Brian lived. He kept walking at a brisk pace trying to digest the scene that he had witnessed moments earlier. Brian had a new lover. He seemed to be a young man in his teens, and he was gorgeous like most Italian men - dark and dangerously sexy. How could Justin compete with that? Justin was devastated; Melanie was right - a lot could happen in six months, and Brian certainly had moved on from their less than perfect relationship. Brian had said the love word to this kid without any hesitation. Brian never used the love word before. Well, Brian always used it when he referred to Michael, Linds, Debbie and even Gus. But, it was expected. Michael was his best friend for years since childhood; Lindsay too had been his friend for the latter part of his college years and Deb. Well Deb was Deb, the surrogate mother to all gay men in Pittsburgh. Gus - hell Gus was Brian's own child. But this Paolo, Brian only had known him for how long - six months tops - and he had used the love word without hesitation. It had taken Brian five years, five fucking years to say it to him and now he was tossing the damn word around like saying good-morning to someone.

Justin sat at the fountain decorating the middle of the plaza where he found himself at a loose end. He was crying his eyes out. He had come to Rome to claim his Jesse James and he had ended up with a broken heart like Melanie had predicted. He wished he had a heart of stone to be able to withstand all the pain life seemed to throw at him at every turn. Then some of the stanzas from the song 'Heart of Stone' began to fill his head.

Beneath the white fire of the moon  
Love's wings are broken all too soon

Justin could agree with that, love's wings are broken all too soon. 

Don't you sometimes wish Your heart was a heart of stone  
We turn the wheel and break the chain Put steel to steel and laugh at pain  
We're dreamers in castles made of sand The road to Eden's overgrown

Yes, he certainly wished his heart was made of stone that way. He would be numb to all the shitty stuff that always seemed to happen to him when it came to his relationship with Brian.

Ten rounds in the ring with love  
Do you lose and win Or win and lose  
Sweet rain like mercy in the night   
(Lay me down, wash away the sorrow) Caress my soul and set it right

Justin began to laugh as the drops of rain began to caress his face over the flood of tears. All of the sudden he began to shiver, he had forgotten about the cold winters in Europe. It was cold and raining and he was wearing only a light turtle neck. So he made up his mind - he had come here to get his Jesse James and he wasn't about to give up that easily or without a fight. He had fought for Brian for five years, to keep him in his life. He was certain no young Italian boy would take him away from Justin no matter how sexy and handsome the dark-haired teen might be. Brian was his, and he would take his prize back.

======================================================  
Brian came back to his office; the meeting with the CEO of Gioie.it went positively great. The young jeweler was dazzled with his and Gianluca's ideas, so they had signed the company to a non-negotiable three year contract. Brian had been preoccupied by thoughts of where his blond boy could be now. He was aware that it had been raining for a while and that his young boy wasn't dressed for the change in temperature in Rome. He was hoping he had already gone back to the apartment and that Marcelo had worked his charms on the boy. Once he got home tonight he would be able to talk to him.  
He meant to call home once he got installed in Rome but he had gotten too caught up in the fast pace of the agency. He didn't realize that weeks had passed; then the months began to pass and he couldn't find the courage to call and be reamed out for his cowardly exit. Working for the Italian ad agency was very invigorating; it didn't even compare to the pace of the Ryder years or Vanguard. Gianlucas' agency was one of the most important agencies throughout Europe and the European market was very different from the American market. So Brian had to struggle to keep up with the pace. He was always on his toes, competing with all the young ad execs joining the ranks of Gianlucas' Agency to make his portfolio grow, and make his friend and boss proud of him. Brian really appreciated what Gianluca had done for him. 

Gianluca had been a lighthouse to him while navigating through the dark oceans of love despair. He had often wished he had a heart of stone. Brian smiled then as he recalled the song he had heard after 'The way of Love' and he had poured his heart out to Gianluca in the plane.

"Peak season in lonely town  
Knocked out of the ring by love  
Are you down and up Or up and down  
I ask the river for a sign   
(In a dream we go on together)  
How long is love supposed to shine  
(In a dream diamonds are forever)  
But you and I, hurt together, hurt alone Don't you sometimes wish Your heart was a heart  
of stone"

His family had often accused him of being heartless but in reality he had been trying to guard his heart from the pain of having it stomped all over. Now, his blond boy was here and he had run out on him again - and he had done nothing this time. He hadn't even talked to the blond when he had stormed out of the apartment. He had often fantasized about seeing his Sunshine knocking at his door, which he would open without hesitation and lunge himself at him. Then after a wild and hot session where all his sexual desires are fulfilled, Justin would say yes and they finally would get married and live happily ever after. But he didn't believe in fairy tales and this fairy tale was far from having a happy ending.

"Brian! Brian! Are you okay man?"  
Brian was yanked out of his thoughts by Gianluca's voice.

"Yeah! I'm great. Peachy!"  
"Thinking of your blond?"  
Brian only managed to smile; lately Brian had been smiling more and been able to show his emotions. He was more human, he thought. He could easily said things like I love you, I am angry, I need some space or just be able to talk about his feelings with people. He didn't know when this feeling of ease had begun to take hold of him, but he liked his life more now. He liked the fact that it was a lot easier to express his emotions even though he could be hurt a lot easier. Well, he was hurt easily before too - the difference was that he never showed his emotions to anyone.

"Yes, I wonder what he's doing now. I just hope he went back to the apartment before the rain started. He can get sick really easily."  
"Don't worry Brian, I am sure he will be okay. Want to make it an early evening?"  
"No, I will finish the last touches before I send the entire campaign to the editing room and have everything ready to begin the spots by next week."  
"Okay! So are we still on for dinner at your place tonight?"  
"Sure, don't forget to bring the red wine."  
"Later!"  
"Later!"

Brian went on to finish his work before heading home, hoping his Sunshine would be there.


	11. De Beers "A Diamond Is Forever"

Well here we are again  
I guess it must be fate  
We've tried it on our own  
But deep inside we've known  
We'd be back to set things straight

I still remember when  
Your kiss was so brand new  
Every memory repeats  
Every step I take retreats  
Every journey always  
Brings me back to you

CHORUS:  
After all the stops and starts  
We keep coming back to these two hearts  
Two angels who've been rescued from the fall  
And after all that we've been through  
It all comes down to me and you  
I guess it's meant to be  
Forever you and me  
After all

When love is truly right  
This time it's truly right  
It lives from year to year  
It changes as it grows  
And oh the way it grows  
But it never disappears

Chorus

Always just beyond my touch  
Though I needed you so much  
After all what else is living for  
Whoa

 

Brian got home sometime after five o'clock. Marcelo had come to greet him and on their way to his apartment he brought him up to speed as to the whereabouts of his blond boy. Marcelo assured him the blond boy was alright and that after he showed up at the apartment all soaked because of the rain, he had let the boy into his apartment. After the blond had taken a shower and changed into more appropriate clothing for the weather, he had gone out again, but without his luggage or passport. They blond had refused to talk to him or to tell him where he was going, but Marcelo made sure the blond didn't take his passport. Marcelo handed it to Brian and left as he had other tenants to see.

Brian wasn't happy that Justin wasn't here at the apartment waiting for him as he expected, but at least he knew Justin wouldn't be leaving Italy any time soon. He would come back - his luggage was still here so he had to come back for clothes, and his passport. Brian went to remove his work clothes and took a shower. After dressing in comfortable clothing, he went to the kitchen to start dinner. 

He had learned to cook Italian food. In his spare time he had enrolled in a cooking class and found it very relaxing and enjoyable. Now he understood why his Sunshine loved to take care of him with his ‘wifey’ duties so much, as he used to call the house chores. It was rather pleasant to show someone love through the little things we all take for granted. At eight o'clock sharp Gianluca and Paolo arrived at the apartment, ready to enjoy their dinner.

"Hey Brian where is the hubby?"  
"Don't know yet. He came back while I was still at the office and left before I got here but I am sure he is coming back."  
"Great! I’m dying to meet my rival."  
Paolo said in a playful manner while kissing Gianluca all over, sitting next to him and sharing their food like two honeymooners. Paolo loved Gianluca and what he loved the most was that Gianluca had no qualms about showing his affection in public. Paolo loved to spoon feed Gianluca while eating the food from his mouth. Paolo always said that food tasted better when coming from Gianluca's mouth. Brian had always found the practice rather disgusting but sometimes wondered if it were Justin doing that would he still find it offensive?

They finished an uneventful dinner, and Gianluca and Brian moved to the computer to work on some ideas that had come up for some other ad campaigns while eating. Paolo had been left to watch tv while waiting for Gianluca to go home. After several minutes Paolo was bored and he stood behind Gianluca to try to get him in the mood. Maybe if he rattled him sexually, he would be more eager to take him home sooner. Gianluca just looked at him pleadingly and said,

"Just give me one more minute, then I promised we'll go home. Brian and I just need to finish this okay?" Paolo sighed in defeat and changed his strategy. He stood behind Brian and as he was snaking his arms around the older man's body an angry voice stopped him in his tracks.

"Get your greasy hands off my man!" A drunken Justin hissed at the Italian boy.  
"Who the hell are you?"  
"I am the fucking American that is going to kick your ass if you don't take your hands off my Jesse James."

At this Brian and Gianluca shifted their attention to the two young boys that apparently where in a pissing contest, and by the looks of it the blond would win easily with devastating results for the Italian if Gianluca didn't do something to protect his young lover.

"Hey Blondie don't hurt my baby. He’s just bored and we’re leaving. I guess we should finish this tomorrow Brian."  
"Yeah!"  
It was all Brian managed to answer, as he was lost in the sight of an angry Justin. He had seen the blond angry before but never with this menacing attitude and he kind of liked it. His blond was claiming him as his own.

"Hey! You don't have to defend me as if I am a poor defenseless fag. I can take care of myself, and he was the one who started it."  
"I don't care who started it Paolo. We are leaving now."  
"You better listen to him you greasy fur ball. Unless you want to know what we Americans are made of."

"Justin! Please, don't be insulting to my guests."  
Brian interfered, he loved the boy’s new attitude but he wasn't going to allow his friends to be insulted in his own home by his drunken lover.

"Shut the fuck up Brian! And don't get me started on you asshole."  
"Hey! What did I do now? You're drunk. You need to sleep it off and tomorrow we can talk." Brian added while showing Gianluca and Paolo to the door. But Paolo wasn't too keen on letting the blond boy have the last word, so he grabbed Brian by the neck and kissed him full in the mouth before releasing him. Then he grabbed Gianluca's arm and walked away like the triumphant queen walking in the passarela. 

Justin’s eyes flared with anger and he moved to throw a punch at the Italian boy, which Brian intercepted and grabbed his fighting blond who began to kick him and scream obscenities at the smiling Italian while the door was locked from the inside.

Brian took his kicking blond to the bed and pinned him down.  
"Now, stop it Justin. You come into my home without a word, then leave and come back drunk and insult my guests. And on top of everything you try to hit my boss's boyfriend. What kind of manners are those?"

'The kind of manners that would show any greasy asshole who happens to be trying to steal the love of my life that he would have another think coming, you asshole. And as for me coming into your home unannounced, it is your own fault. You left me no choice when you decided to do your vanishing act on me."

"You were the one who left me there kneeling - making a fool out of myself in front of our entire family. You little shit." Brian had lost any self-control after Justin’s harsh words and he began to flare as well.

"If you had the decency to go after me and try to find out what the hell happened, you would have known that I was going through some tough shit. But no, you had to think only of Brian Kinney! It never occurred to you the position you would put me in if you made my dreams come true in front of the entire planet instead of keeping it just been me and you. Not bad enough disregarding my feelings about our relationship - then you pull your vanishing act and leave me clueless as to your whereabouts, making me go nuts for the past six months thinking the worst. Finally Horvath was able to find out some shit that helped me figure out where you were, and with his help I got a private eye to locate you, asshole."

At this Justin began to cry, releasing all he had forced himself to hold in till now. All the years he and Brian had been together, all the shitty things Brian had put him through came pouring from his eyes. All the pain he had bottled up for more than five years came crashing down in his tears. Brian was stunned, he had never stopped and thought about what Justin would do or feel if he decided to admit to the world his love for him. He never considered Justin's feelings. God! He was a fool. He was a shitty boyfriend. 

Brian moved away from Justin and began to pace, what had he done? He had been too wrapped up in his own humiliation and he never thought about Justin. Brian finally stopped pacing and collapsed on the couch in the living room. He sat there in silence trying to figure out a way to make it up to Justin. To make it up to himself - he had deprived himself of what could been the happiest months of his life. Not that being here in Italy had been a complete misery but it wasn't complete happiness without his favorite blond.

Justin lay for some time just crying his eyes out until sleep finally took over; he was drunk, tired, suffering from jet jag and on top of everything emotionally drained. Tomorrow he would change his strategy. His plan had failed miserably. Instead of him and Brian solving their problems in bed as first intended, they ended up fighting and insulting each other. Justin then realized that he had insulted Brian's boss and that the greasy Italian was none other than the boss's boyfriend. Oh God, another fuck up! Brian would kill him tomorrow. God! When he would learn to keep his emotions in check? 

============================================================

The next morning, Brian was awakened by the persistent ringing of the phone. He suddenly remembered that Justin was sleeping in the bedroom and went to answer the phone before it would wake up his sleeping beauty. The last thing he wanted was Justin in a mood; he knew very well how difficult Justin could be if he was awakened. Justin had never been a morning person so if he woke up on his own he was a lot easier to handle, but when rudely awakened he could become a pain in the ass. 

"Hello!"  
"Brian did I wake you?"  
"No. It's okay Gianluca. What's up?"  
"Well I just called you to let you know that you can take the day off. I am taking off too. We finished almost everything last night so we can relax for a few days before we have to plunge back into the craziness again. So I suggest you fix things with your hubby. I need to spend sometime with Paolo. He has been nagging me all week about how I don't love him and shit like that."

"Thanks Gianni, don't I know very well what are you talking about?"  
After some more chit chat Brian and Gianluca hung up. Brian went to take a shower and began to clear the kitchen and cook breakfast. If he knew his Sunshine well, he would wake up hungry and he wanted to keep the blond in a good mood. Boy! He had a lot to answer for. Especially to his lover, to his poor Sunshine. He could only imagine all the things that had gone through Justin's head regarding his safety. God he was selfish. Brian Kinney was always thinking only of himself.

Brian had fixed Justin's favorite breakfast of scramble eggs with cheese, hash browns, crispy strips of bacon, home-style sausage and a piece of smoked ham complete with fresh orange juice - and Justin's favorite dessert, a naked Brian holding a red rose in his teeth.

Justin began to stir as the aromas coming from the kitchen filled the apartment. Justin was very hungry by now and he began to rub his nose as was his habit when he opened his eyes. He saw a naked Brian holding a tray of food and a single red rose in his teeth. Justin then rubbed his eyes one more time thinking maybe he was still asleep and everything was a beautiful dream from which Justin was sure he wouldn't want to wake up.

Brian settled the tray of food next to the bed and removed the rose from his mouth as he sat next to Justin and caressed his face with the rose while a wide smile on his mouth.  
"Good morning Sunshine!"  
"Hey!"

Justin managed to say while trying to figure out if he was still dreaming or if he had died and gone to heaven. Justin began to sneeze; he forgot he was allergic to roses. Ever since the fucking fiddler had woken him up with roses and dark chocolate in bed he had developed an allergy to them.

"I'm sorry Sunshine I didn't know you were allergic to roses. I know about some of the flowers you are allergic too but I didn't know about the roses."

"Isn't your fault Brian ........ .......... it wasn't until ................... Ethan began to wake me up ......................... with them and dark chocolates........ ......"

 

Well, that was great you little shit, I'm here trying to make it up to you and what you do? You remind me of the fucking greasy, chin rat fiddler. Brian threw the rose in the trash can and moved it as far away as possible from Justin.

"Better?"  
"Yes, thank you Brian."  
"Are you hungry?"  
"I'm starving."  
"You're always starving."

"Wow! All of my favorites, including dessert and everything."  
Justin managed to smile his Sunshine smile and inject a ring of naughtiness in his voice.

Well, this is going better than I expected. I guess Brian isn't as pissed off at me as I thought. Brian never could stay mad at me for long periods of time, which is good considering everything that has happened. 

Justin finished all the food and gave the empty plates back to Brian who had been lost in the sight of his Sunshine in his bed, smiling and eating the food he had carefully prepared for him. Brian cleared the tray from the bedroom and Justin went into the bathroom to clean up. Then a thought crossed his mind and he began to prepare for a shower. 

Brian was coming back to the bedroom when he heard the familiar sound of the shower and he smiled. He had already taken a shower but one cannot be too clean when it came to sharing showers with Justin.

After almost an hour of being lost in shower bliss with his younger lover, Brian came out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a naked Justin hanging on his upper body like a monkey on a tree. Brian dropped his monkey on the bed and then began to reconnaissance his lover's ivory white silky skin. After almost two non-stop rounds of seeking pleasure from each other Brian finally spoke,

"I'm sorry Justin. I'm sorry for leaving without finding out what was going on with you. I'm sorry; I was too caught up in my own grief that I didn't stop to think about your own."  
At this Justin got up from the bed with a sudden move.

"Okay who are you? And what have you done with my boyfriend?!"  
Brian laughed at Justin's face and added,

"That asshole was abducted by aliens and I was chosen to replace him."  
"Hmmmm!" Justin looked a bit pensive then added,

"I loved my boyfriend very much with his entire asshole attitude and all, but I think I prefer this new and improved version of him."  
"Gee thanks Sunshine!"  
"I am sorry too, Brian. I wanted to scream Yes! at top of my lungs but for some strange reason no sound came out of my fucking mouth."  
At this Brian began to kiss his Sunshine's face and claimed his red raspberry lips. God! He had missed his sensual mouth. 

"Brian!"  
"Yes, Sunshine?"  
Brian's voice was muffled with Justin's skin because he was lost in kissing him all over.  
"You still want to marry me?"  
At this Brian stopped kissing Justin and instead hovered over him. Then his hazel eyes locked onto Justin's baby blues and he said,

"Justin it's all I want to do to feel complete and happy."  
"Good, because Vic wants to cater our wedding and Daphne wants to be my maid of honor and of course Michael said he would be very happy to be your best man and Ted and Emmett are going to be the mistress and master of ceremonies and ................"  
Brian shut his boy's mouth with a passionate kiss; he knew if he let him Justin would blabber till his ears were ringing!

Brian looked down at the now sleeping blond in his arms, smiling peacefully, and couldn't help but smile himself.

Justin was his pot of Gold at the end of the rainbow and he was Justin's diamond in the rough. Justin would continue polishing him till the end of time - after all, diamonds are forever and Justin is the never-ending pot of Gold.


End file.
